Is it us?
Or does Ginny Blom
come over ‘all a bit unnecessary’
in December’s Gardens Illustrated?
Talking of London’s Maida Vale, where historically arriviste merchants kept their mistresses, she writes:
‘Most gardens were equipped with delightful niches made of trellis. Erotic niches! Make no mistake, I think a little of this is good in a garden – somewhere to recite poetry as the moon rises.’
‘Phew, its ok’, we thought, all relieved , ‘just poetry reading – quite innocent, really.’
But no! For she goes on:
‘Find a basic shed at a well – known DIY store and then dress it to suit your proclivities.’
Pass her the bromide someone!
The give away words are basic – we are not therefore talking a temple to platonic love.
And ‘dress it to suit your proclivities.’
Now, that is not a word I use that often so I thought I should look up its precise meaning.
Yeah, I was right. It means ‘urges’ and ‘tendencies’!
I think, Ginny, this is sounding like a full blown ‘shag shack’.
Which is what we used to call the beach huts behind the sand dunes on the north devon coast when i was a kid.
They weren’t very substantial structures and when there was a couple in there ‘addressing their proclivities’, or whatever Ginny calls, it you could practically see the whole hut move!
The thought does however occur to me that we have actually been colluding in and conniving with this sort of behaviour ourselves.
Not ourselves together I hasten to add.
But design wise!
There has been a notable increase in clients wanting us to include summerhouses into their grand plan.
And we have, I fear, willingly concurred:
The last two to be drawn up in fact.
And then, in the next two to be drawn up, I actually suggested using an admittedly ornamental, but less complete bower as either a screeen or a focal point and the suggestions were greeted with alacrity!
Here is my roughest of doodles:
Guess I must have been subconsciously thinking red for passion!
What is happening? Is there something in the water?
And then of course I realized what was the (admittedly delayed) source of all this: