Vive la niche erotique!

| December 2, 2012 | 2 Comments

Dear me!

Is it us?

Or does Ginny Blom

come over ‘all a bit unnecessary’

in December’s Gardens Illustrated?

( )

Talking of London’s Maida Vale, where historically arriviste merchants kept their mistresses, she writes:

‘Most gardens were equipped with delightful niches made of trellis. Erotic niches! Make no mistake, I think a little of this is good in a garden – somewhere to recite poetry as the moon rises.’

‘Phew, its ok’, we thought, all relieved , ‘just poetry reading – quite innocent, really.’

But no! For she goes on:

‘Find a basic shed at a well – known DIY store and then dress it to suit your proclivities.’

Pass her the bromide someone!

The give away words are basic – we are not therefore talking a temple to platonic love.

And ‘dress it to suit your proclivities.’


Now, that is not a word I use that often so I thought I should look up its precise meaning.

Yeah, I was right. It means ‘urges’ and ‘tendencies’!

I think,  Ginny, this is sounding like a full blown ‘shag shack’.

Which is what we used to call the beach huts behind the sand dunes on the north devon coast when i was a kid.

They weren’t very substantial structures and when there was a couple in there ‘addressing their proclivities’, or whatever Ginny calls, it you could practically see the whole hut move!

The thought does however occur to me that we have actually been colluding in and conniving with this sort of behaviour ourselves.

Not ourselves together I hasten to add.

But design wise!

There has been a notable increase in clients wanting us to include summerhouses  into their grand plan.

And we have, I fear, willingly concurred:


The last two to be drawn up in fact.

And then, in the next two to be drawn up, I actually suggested using an admittedly ornamental, but less complete bower as either a screeen or a focal point and the suggestions were greeted with alacrity!

Here is my roughest of doodles:

Guess I must have been subconsciously thinking red for passion!

What is happening? Is there something in the water?

And then of course I realized what was the  (admittedly delayed) source of all this:

The Friday Debate: Are gardens sexy? | Life and style |

Mea culpa!



Category: Design Bites, Project Updates

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  1. narf7 says:

    Our garden is anything BUT sexy. I think that we should be hiring it out to Charlie Sheen to teach him how to remain celebate to be honest. We inherited 4 acres of overgrown weeds (with a delightful understory of dead garden and more hidden weeds to uncover) and at the end of the day the garden has us too “shagged” (or is that “proclivited”?) to do anything other than crawl mercifully into our beds. Our garden is ANTI-sexy. As landscape designers we have SUCH plans but as penniless student hippies our plans run to “pull out those weeds!” and “hump those rocks” and “move that pile of rocky soil from there… to there…” and a whole lot of wistful garden blog perusing and heavy sighing. One day this garden will be incredibly sexy…it’s just a pity that we will probably be too old to remember what sexy actually “is” when that fateful day arrives! ;)

  2. Robert says:

    Tee, hee,
    Your iconoclastic reply did make me laugh!
    One for its own sake.
    And 2 because I have just spent 7 hours in the garden today and feel completely knackered myself.
    I was going to spend this evening at the drawing board- I am not now!
    I would not usually spend that amount of time there, but I had some help today and to make best use of the time meant that I was there and involved in it all too!
    Yes, yes, yes completely agree! If that isn’t too like something that gets said at quite another time!
    Thanks so much for your amusing comment